Do you feel as if you are in a psychological battle with food and your body? Whether you need to lose weight or are constantly trying to improve your health, it is easy to develop a conflict mindset in this area.
If you often find yourself using the words ‘should,’ ‘have to,’ or ‘must’ regarding your health, we’re talking about you. These words hint at a conflict between what we “want” and what we “should” be doing to be healthy. These fears ultimately hold us back from healing. It’s like steering toward healing with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. But even though anyone can have this conflict, we can all respond to it in different ways.
According to the Thomas-Kilmann conflict model, there are four clear ways in which we might react to conflict:
- The Competitor compares his “old body” to his current figure—or to other people’s. Not surprisingly, stress goes hand-in-hand with the high standard of always chasing a new personal best.
- The Avoider often thinks, “My diet can start tomorrow,” or will jump from plan to plan. This person may believe that a new routine will be hard forever, unwittingly inviting resentfulness and overwhelmed feelings.
- The Accommodator thinks healthy eating and weight loss are difficult because she uses food to treat herself. Over time, she will look for more and more reasons to reward herself, often making unreasonable excuses.
- The Collaborator will change his relationship with food from combative to Collaborative. This newfound freedom then helps him identify his needs and gives him the intrinsic motivation needed to get those needs met. The Collaborator stops assuming the all-or-nothing, zero sum battle plans of competing, accommodating, and avoiding. By being collaborative, he can find the emotional win-win more easily.
If you feel as if you are stuck in conflict mode, please reach out to our office today. We would love to help you reframe your mindset and get you on the right track toward a healthy body AND mind.
